Tiglath's Computer Emotes 1
After my computer died, I have some hard feelings about computers.
I stole these emotes from somewhere and converted them to my standard
format. I hope you like them.
Emote Install groups
I have created several batchs of emotes. The tables below allow you to select the emotes you want to install. The quick download programs are smaller and probably easier to use. The power user downloads allow changing the fonts and colors in the emotes. Click on the description for a detailed explanation of all the emotes in a group.
Generic Emotes
What The Emotes Look Like
This is an attempt to show what the emotes look like. It is not perfect but it should give you an idea.
| TiglathsEmail |
|---|
| Room: | Send comments about these emotes to tiglath@tiglath.org |
| User: | Send comments about these emotes to tiglath@tiglath.org |
| TiglathsEmotes |
|---|
| Room: | These emotes are available at http://www.tiglath.org |
| User: | These emotes are available at http://www.tiglath.org |
| 1Million |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Congratulations! You are the one-millionth user to log into our system." |
| User: | says to UserName "Congratulations! You are the one-millionth user to log into our system." |
| 3Days |
|---|
| Room: | says, "After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless." |
| User: | says to UserName "After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless." |
| 98Full |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can." |
| User: | says to UserName "Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can." |
| AAAAAA |
|---|
| Room: | says, "AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous." |
| User: | says to UserName "AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous." |
| AddMan |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later." |
| User: | says to UserName "Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later." |
| AdvBug |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature." |
| User: | says to UserName "Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature." |
| AllThumbs |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal if you are all thumbs." |
| User: | says to UserName "Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal if you are all thumbs." |
| Apathy |
|---|
| Room: | says, "APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key." |
| User: | says to UserName "APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key." |
| APL |
|---|
| Room: | says, "APL is a write-only language." |
| User: | says to UserName "APL is a write-only language." |
| Append |
|---|
| Room: | says, "And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode." |
| User: | says to UserName "And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode." |
| Backups |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Backups? We don't *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER" |
| User: | says to UserName "Backups? We don't *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx NO CARRIER" |
| BadCode |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Don't comment or patch bad code; rewrite it." |
| User: | says to UserName "Don't comment or patch bad code; rewrite it." |
| BadRand |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1" |
| User: | says to UserName "A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1" |
| BadStyle |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Bad style destroys an otherwise superb program." |
| User: | says to UserName "Bad style destroys an otherwise superb program." |
| Base8 |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Base 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing two fingers." |
| User: | says to UserName "Base 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing two fingers." |
| BeforeUse |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Any programming language is at its best before it is implemented and used." |
| User: | says to UserName "Any programming language is at its best before it is implemented and used." |
| Boot1st |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Breakthrough: It finally booted on the first try." |
| User: | says to UserName "Breakthrough: It finally booted on the first try." |
| Branches |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Avoid unnecessary branches." |
| User: | says to UserName "Avoid unnecessary branches." |
| ButFeature |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature." |
| User: | says to UserName "Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature." |
| ByteBy |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computer programmers do it byte by byte." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computer programmers do it byte by byte." |
| ByteDust |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Another megabytes the dust." |
| User: | says to UserName "Another megabytes the dust." |
| CerealPort |
|---|
| Room: | says, "BREAKFAST.COM halted... cereal port not responding!" |
| User: | says to UserName "BREAKFAST.COM halted... cereal port not responding!" |
| ChatIs |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Chat is like yelling, "Anyone want to buy a used car?" in a crowded theater." |
| User: | says to UserName "Chat is like yelling, "Anyone want to buy a used car?" in a crowded theater." |
| Cobol |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard." |
| User: | says to UserName "A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard." |
| CompAmbig |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computers... are not designed, as we are, for ambiguity." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computers... are not designed, as we are, for ambiguity." |
| Compatiable |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Compatible: Gracefully accepts erroneous data from any source." |
| User: | says to UserName "Compatible: Gracefully accepts erroneous data from any source." |
| CompBite |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Don't let the computer bugs bite!" |
| User: | says to UserName "Don't let the computer bugs bite!" |
| CompFloat |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Don't compare floating point numbers solely for equality." |
| User: | says to UserName "Don't compare floating point numbers solely for equality." |
| CompHuman |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computers are only human." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computers are only human." |
| Complexity |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming." |
| User: | says to UserName "Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming." |
| CompSame |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computers are a more fun way to do the same work you'd have to do without them." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computers are a more fun way to do the same work you'd have to do without them." |
| CompSaus |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computers are like sausages -- they are most admired by those who don't know what goes into them." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computers are like sausages -- they are most admired by those who don't know what goes into them." |
| CompStone |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone." |
| User: | says to UserName "A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone." |
| CompTalk |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computers talk to each other worse than their designers do." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computers talk to each other worse than their designers do." |
| CompUnre |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable." |
| CompUse |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." |
| CoreDump |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Brain fried; core dumped." |
| User: | says to UserName "Brain fried; core dumped." |
| CSToday |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow." |
| DataExpands |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Data expands to fill the space available for storage." |
| User: | says to UserName "Data expands to fill the space available for storage." |
| DataHide |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Abstraction is achieved by data hiding and enforced by encapsulation." |
| User: | says to UserName "Abstraction is achieved by data hiding and enforced by encapsulation." |
| DeclareInt |
|---|
| Room: | says, "God is real, unless declared integer." |
| User: | says to UserName "God is real, unless declared integer." |
| Diagnostics |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Diagnostics are the programs that run when nothing else will." |
| User: | says to UserName "Diagnostics are the programs that run when nothing else will." |
| Diddle |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Don't diddle code to make it faster; find a better algorithm." |
| User: | says to UserName "Don't diddle code to make it faster; find a better algorithm." |
| Disclaim |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors." |
| User: | says to UserName "Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors." |
| DiskSpace |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Disk space, the final frontier!" |
| User: | says to UserName "Disk space, the final frontier!" |
| DocSex |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing." |
| User: | says to UserName "Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing." |
| DoInMovies |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies." |
| User: | says to UserName "Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies." |
| DontStop |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Don't stop at one bug." |
| User: | says to UserName "Don't stop at one bug." |
| DynamicLink |
|---|
| Room: | says, "DYNAMIC LINKING ERROR: Your mistake is now everywhere." |
| User: | says to UserName "DYNAMIC LINKING ERROR: Your mistake is now everywhere." |
| Elephant |
|---|
| Room: | says, "An elephant is a mouse with an operating system." |
| User: | says to UserName "An elephant is a mouse with an operating system." |
| Error13 |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Error 13: Illegal brain function. Process terminated." |
| User: | says to UserName "Error 13: Illegal brain function. Process terminated." |
| Escape |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Close your eyes and press escape three times." |
| User: | says to UserName "Close your eyes and press escape three times." |
| Ever1.0 |
|---|
| Room: | says, "10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0." |
| User: | says to UserName "10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0." |
| Exorsys |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computer possessed? Try DEVICE=C: |
| User: | EXOR.SYS"\says to UserName "Computer possessed? Try DEVICE=C:\EXOR.SYS" |
| ExpSystem |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Expert systems are built to embody the knowledge of human experts." |
| User: | says to UserName "Expert systems are built to embody the knowledge of human experts." |
| FaultTol |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A fault tolerant system must report the faults even as it tolerates them." |
| User: | says to UserName "A fault tolerant system must report the faults even as it tolerates them." |
| FillMem |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Any given program will expand to fill available memory." |
| User: | says to UserName "Any given program will expand to fill available memory." |
| Foolproof |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Foolproof operation: All parameters are hard coded." |
| User: | says to UserName "Foolproof operation: All parameters are hard coded." |
| Formatting |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?" |
| User: | says to UserName "Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?" |
| Fortune |
|---|
| Room: | says, "fortune: No such file or directory" |
| User: | says to UserName "fortune: No such file or directory" |
| Futuristic |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Futuristic: It will only run on a next generation supercomputer." |
| User: | says to UserName "Futuristic: It will only run on a next generation supercomputer." |
| GottaRun |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer." |
| User: | says to UserName "Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer." |
| Hacker |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A hacker does for love what others would not do for money." |
| User: | says to UserName "A hacker does for love what others would not do for money." |
| Hammer |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer." |
| User: | says to UserName "A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer." |
| HeartFail |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Backup not found: A)bort, R)etry, M)assive heart failure?" |
| User: | says to UserName "Backup not found: A)bort, R)etry, M)assive heart failure?" |
| HexBeast |
|---|
| Room: | says, "29A, the hexadecimal of the Beast." |
| User: | says to UserName "29A, the hexadecimal of the Beast." |
| HexDump |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Hex dump: Where witches put used curses..." |
| User: | says to UserName "Hex dump: Where witches put used curses..." |
| Hithard |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts." |
| User: | says to UserName "Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts." |
| Kernel |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Hackers have kernel knowledge." |
| User: | says to UserName "Hackers have kernel knowledge." |
| Kicked |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked." |
| User: | says to UserName "Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked." |
| KnowLie |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying." |
| LastOne |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Every bug you find is the last one." |
| User: | says to UserName "Every bug you find is the last one." |
| LoopExits |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Be careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom." |
| User: | says to UserName "Be careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom." |
| LowLevel |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A low level language is one whose programs require attention to the irrelevant." |
| User: | says to UserName "A low level language is one whose programs require attention to the irrelevant." |
| MachLang |
|---|
| Room: | says, "God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man." |
| User: | says to UserName "God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man." |
| MailPacket |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Finish your mail packet! Children are offline in India." |
| User: | says to UserName "Finish your mail packet! Children are offline in India." |
| Morse |
|---|
| Room: | says, "As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code." |
| User: | says to UserName "As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code." |
| MyBaud |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Do you like me for my brain or my baud?" |
| User: | says to UserName "Do you like me for my brain or my baud?" |
| NamesTaken |
|---|
| Room: | says, "All the simple programs have been written, and all the good names taken." |
| User: | says to UserName "All the simple programs have been written, and all the good names taken." |
| NeedLove |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop hacking and fall in love!" |
| User: | says to UserName "Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop hacking and fall in love!" |
| NetWit |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Any nitwit can understand computers. Many do." |
| User: | says to UserName "Any nitwit can understand computers. Many do." |
| NotConfused |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Choose variable names that will not be confused." |
| User: | says to UserName "Choose variable names that will not be confused." |
| NotExist |
|---|
| Room: | says, "According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist." |
| User: | says to UserName "According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist." |
| NumPlaces |
|---|
| Room: | says, "After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn." |
| User: | says to UserName "After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn." |
| Obsolete |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Any program that runs right is obsolete." |
| User: | says to UserName "Any program that runs right is obsolete." |
| OpMalfunc |
|---|
| Room: | says, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction." |
| User: | says to UserName "For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction." |
| Panic |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Backup not found! A)bort, R)etry or P)anic?" |
| User: | says to UserName "Backup not found! A)bort, R)etry or P)anic?" |
| Paperless |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperless bathroom." |
| User: | says to UserName "A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperless bathroom." |
| Pee |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A)bort, R)etry, P)ee in drive door" |
| User: | says to UserName "A)bort, R)etry, P)ee in drive door" |
| PlayRts |
|---|
| Room: | says, "All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors." |
| User: | says to UserName "All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors." |
| PowerOff |
|---|
| Room: | says, "All computers run at the same speed...with the power off." |
| User: | says to UserName "All computers run at the same speed...with the power off." |
| ProgDoc |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Don't document the program; program the document." |
| User: | says to UserName "Don't document the program; program the document." |
| Proved |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it." |
| User: | says to UserName "Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it." |
| Psychopath |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live." |
| User: | says to UserName "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live." |
| PushJ |
|---|
| Room: | says, "All a hacker needs is a tight PUSHJ, a loose pair of UUO's, and a warm place to SHIFT." |
| User: | says to UserName "All a hacker needs is a tight PUSHJ, a loose pair of UUO's, and a warm place to SHIFT." |
| QWERTY |
|---|
| Room: | says, "BASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing." |
| User: | says to UserName "BASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing." |
| RareFit |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits." |
| User: | says to UserName "Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits." |
| Reuse |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable." |
| User: | says to UserName "Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable." |
| Scientist |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken." |
| User: | says to UserName "A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken." |
| ScrewDrivers |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers." |
| User: | says to UserName "Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers." |
| SeeBelieve |
|---|
| Room: | says, "An algorithm must be seen to be believed." |
| User: | says to UserName "An algorithm must be seen to be believed." |
| SelfDest |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A)bort, R)etry or S)elf-destruct?" |
| User: | says to UserName "A)bort, R)etry or S)elf-destruct?" |
| SpellCheck |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Capt'n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!" |
| User: | says to UserName "Capt'n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!" |
| StandCorner |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner." |
| User: | says to UserName "Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner." |
| StrangWomen |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Avoid temporary variables and strange women." |
| User: | says to UserName "Avoid temporary variables and strange women." |
| Submarine |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Asking whether machines can think is like asking whether submarines can swim." |
| User: | says to UserName "Asking whether machines can think is like asking whether submarines can swim." |
| TellToDo |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do." |
| User: | says to UserName "A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do." |
| TrackedBack |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you." |
| User: | says to UserName "Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you." |
| Trivial |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Every program is either trivial or it contains at least one bug." |
| User: | says to UserName "Every program is either trivial or it contains at least one bug." |
| TwoDoc |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation." |
| User: | says to UserName "A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation." |
| UI |
|---|
| Room: | says, "All you need to know is the user interface." |
| User: | says to UserName "All you need to know is the user interface." |
| Undetected |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A bug in the hand is better than one as yet undetected." |
| User: | says to UserName "A bug in the hand is better than one as yet undetected." |
| Undetected |
|---|
| Room: | says, "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." |
| User: | says to UserName "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." |
| Undreamed |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A successful tool is used to do something undreamed of by its author." |
| User: | says to UserName "A successful tool is used to do something undreamed of by its author." |
| UseHard |
|---|
| Room: | says, "Computer programmers know how to use their hardware." |
| User: | says to UserName "Computer programmers know how to use their hardware." |
| Valium |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, V)alium?" |
| User: | says to UserName "A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, V)alium?" |
| Weakest |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A list is only as strong as its weakest link." |
| User: | says to UserName "A list is only as strong as its weakest link." |
| WhatYouWant |
|---|
| Room: | says, "A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do." |
| User: | says to UserName "A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do." |
| Worthless |
|---|
| Room: | says, "As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it." |
| User: | says to UserName "As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it." |
